My Why

Why would I bother to create an event, to host one, or to share anything at all....

My Why

Many years ago, I lost my mother to a massive heart attack.  She was a size 4 when she died.  A few years later, my father who had survived cancer, on top of his diabetes, was diagnosed with alzheimer’s and I took care of him until the last 4 months of his life at which time he went into a home.  At that point, I went into what was diagnosed as clinical depression. I was put on medication that caused all kinds of side symptoms including grinding my teeth causing me to eventually break and lose a tooth.  That wasn’t even the beginning of my health issues.  I was also told that I was at heart attack stage, critical, any moment.  The doctor told me that I needed to go on medication right away.  He said that the medication itself could cause a heart attack but that if I survived, it would help.  I gave him a resolute “NO” at which point he recommended exercise, diet, and monthly visits.  I drove home that day weeping knowing that my girls were not ready to lose me.  I also knew I couldn’t tell them the extent, so I kept it inside and it spiraled my depression.

After losing 30 pounds, my statistics were a little better but basically the same (at danger level) and I was forlorn.  On top of it, some of the most wonderful people in the world, people I worked with, looked up to and esteemed, began to get cancer.  I would learn of one, then another, then another, and I felt sad and sickened inside.  I prayed everyday for answers and God sent them to me (at least a lot of them~I still have so much to learn).

One day as I was working out at 24 hour fitness when my daughter’s former cheerleading coach (when they were small) walked by.  I was so excited to see her and as I looked at her I realized that she looked even younger than when the girls were little.  I always thought she was so beautiful that something had to be wrong with her...I was wrong ~ lol. She is as beautiful,  on the inside and to top it off, humble, and kind. I saw her a couple of more times and probably the third time, I shared my woes and she shared answers.  

As I followed her advice, every single issue turned around and all my levels went to normal. I began to experience wellness that I had not felt since my early 30’s even to the point of getting rid of allergies that caused me to always carry a tissue in my sleeve.  People began to tell me that I looked good and that I looked younger (Despite what I saw in the mirror, I chose to believe them..lol...and I do use awesome anti-aging supplements and facial products). 

However, I kept my regime to myself.  I am a pretty private and passive person; definitely not a sales person (I give things away and would go broke..lol). However, as I got healthier I realized that I had a moral obligation to share, in spite of my reluctance to speak to people. Thus, my events and my blog...(I still can't speak to people but my wellness coach does it for me :/) I pray wellness, energy, and excitement into all of your lives.  I hope you will join me on my journey ~

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 NIV

My biggest reasons to celebrate ~

To my kids ~

Maile, (Hawaiian name derived from the name of a vine used in making leis – in the bible a vine is symbolic of Christ and that we must stay connected to him) you were my first-born, my miracle; my connection and strength in Christ grew with you.  I remember holding you for hours while you were sleeping, staring at you.  I couldn’t believe that you were mine, that God would give me something so profoundly beautiful.  I remember working graveyard just so I could take you to “Mommy and Me classes” and watch with marvel as you ran around with joy and excitement in your voice and eyes.  I remember that I couldn’t get enough of my little girl even when you knocked a kid off the ladder cause they had been picking on you (wow did I have to restrain myself not to burst out laughing); I longed for more hours in the day to be with you.  When I read books to you that made me fall off into unconscious slumber, you amazed me even more because you became the reader.  I am still amazed.

Your Scripture ~

John 15:5
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Jaimie, you were my second.  When I picked your name, it came from a book that gave the meaning “to inspire love.”  Most say supplanted (someone who succeeds; accomplishes something; is a success).  Anyway you look at it, it all held true.  I remember your quiet complacency as we walked in the freezing cold miles home; you my tiny girl at my side not even uttering a word, and Amanda, my baby girl in my arms.  You somehow took everything in stride and you always responded with warmth; hugging me and clinging to my side even as we slept.  I remember your wonder and alarm at what you saw “Mom, I have a hole…” lol.  I remember the phrases you made and words you made up, “just a little bit…,”  “Mom, my yegs hurt,” “Mom, you forgot to give them the baby” lol.  I wondered why God had yet blessed me with another incredibly genuinely beautiful little girl.

Your Scripture ~

1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking

Amanda ~ my third, but not my last.  Your name means to be loved; fit to be loved, lovable.  I remember you laying in my lap for hours with your bat baba and wanting to be held on my shoulder no matter what when you were asleep and we were out; the stroller just didn’t make it unless you were totally and completely passed out :-D  I remember how people loved you especially the little boy who lived next door to grandma and scared the daylights out of you; now it’s a blessing to watch you love beyond what might be my capacity.  I still love watching the things you do, like singing in the car with facial expression, hand expressions, and all the motions to go along.  I even can deal with the things you do and say to me in spite of my threatening to call 1-800-ma-abuse.  You my love, are in spite of all my shortcomings, another intensely beautiful (inside out) girl that God gave me…He certainly is full of grace and mercy and has a huge sense of humor (lol…not really).

Your Scripture ~

1 Corinthians13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Jason ~ my first son.  Jason is derived from Joshua and it means healer.  When you came into our lives the one thing I could clearly see, was the effect you had on my daughters heart.  God, through you, touched and began healing my daughter’s heart in a way that was evident, beyond what I witnessed before and could have hoped for.  God did something through you that I could never, as willing a vessel as I’d be, be used by Him to do; for that I will always embrace and love you as my son.  You have treated her with the love and the respect someone would treat a princess with; you are her prince charming so you have certainly charmed me.  Thank you for your patience, your gentle touch, and for caring beyond.  I hold the things you give her and me and the things you do for her and me as priceless treasures.  You are a gift.

Your Scripture ~

1 Corth 12: 7 Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8 To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9 to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit… 

Greg ~ my second son.  Gregory means watchful and vigilant.  You my son, although I couldn’t see it initially, seem to be the perfect recipe for my Jaimie.  Initially when I met you, I saw that you were willing to get to know her whatever the cost, that you truly appreciated who she was in Christ (her purity and her innocence), that you did whatever you could think of to make her feel special.  Finally, after everything was said and done you were willing to deal with me.  The fact that you could take my rants, and turn around and treat me with respect and acceptance for her sake, in the end spoke volumes to me.  As time goes on, I realize that you are thankful for Jaimie; that you have been a wonderful husband to her; treat her like there is no other woman in the world, and like your princess - a true show of thankfulness.  Truly, I am thankful and grateful that God brought you into her life.  I will also never forget the note you sent me thanking me for the sacrifices I made for my girls.  You may not realize the depth of the meaning that had for me; that was very special to me.

Your Scripture ~

Colossians 4:2 Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful.

                     

To all my children ~

I could go on forever but I would never get this done or printed.  So with that to all of you ~

Number 6:

²⁴ “‘“The LORD bless you 
   and keep you; 
²⁵ the LORD make his face shine on you 
   and be gracious to you; 
²⁶ the LORD turn his face toward you 
   and give you peace.”’

Psalm 145:20
The LORD watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy (I am beyond sure He will take care of all I commit into his hands; first and foremost, I commit my children into His hands)

I love you all ~ I celebrate YOU!!!

My Miracle ~

Watching “Kelsey the Miracle Baby” reminded me of my own miracle baby.  When I was approaching 30, I was carrying my first child.  I was so excited that I could barely think of anything else.  One day I woke up to horror.  I was bleeding profusely.  I took myself to the doctors and after a long day of testing was told that I would, if I hadn’t already, lose the baby.  All I could do was go home and lay down until the bleeding stopped.

I went home and alone on a tiny bed in an extra bedroom, I looked out the window at a beautiful blue sky beyond a huge tree that loomed in my backyard.  As I watched the white wisps of clouds float by, I prayed.  “God if you are real, if you are really there, let me have this baby and I promise I will teach her to know you.”  Little did I know at the time that you’re not supposed to bargain with God.  Yet in my ignorance, he heard my prayer and answered me.  I actually knew as I stared out the window for who knows how long, that He answered me.

I often reflect back and think about the story of a man who didn’t know Jesus.  He asked a pastor how he could get to know Jesus.  The pastor explained about prayer, just talking to Jesus and that he would answer.  The man went his way and everyday he would say, “Hi Jesus, I’m John.”  One day he was lying on his death bed and the pastor came to see him.  He said, “Pastor, I saw Jesus and I talked to him.”  The pastor asked, “What did you say.”  John replied, I said “Hi Jesus, I’m John.”  Then the pastor asked, “What did Jesus say.”  John looked at him with a big smile and answered, “He said, Hi John, I’m Jesus.”  I realized that God was doing the very same thing for me; He was meeting me where I was.

Back to the story, when I went back to the doctors, they ran all their tests.  I was a little scared when the doctor approached me because he looked forlorn.  The doctor proceeded to tell me that I was still pregnant.  He could only surmise (guess – after all he had to have an explanation) that it was an aborted twin.  I knew better; I knew when I laid on that bed that I had been answered.  I suspect the doctor somehow knew I had experienced a miracle as well.

I went home and decorated my unborn baby girls room with rainbows remembering God’s love and His promises.  I celebrated my miracle girl from that moment, and God celebrated that I had entered into the fold.  I searched, I prayed, I found a good church, and I was faithful to my word.  Funny thing, I also knew that He knew I would keep my promise.

My Heart Hurts ~

Have you ever loved so completely that nothing matters but the welfare of the other person?

Have you ever loved with so much strength that if the person you love hurts, you feel the pain a thousand times stronger?

Have you ever loved so deeply that you would do whatever you needed to keep the other person from suffering one second more than they had to?

Have you ever loved so much that your eyes welled up and overflowed unceasingly because you ached for the other person?

Have you ever felt humbled to the point that you would apologize a thousand times over because you caused an ache in a loved ones heart?

Have you loved someone so much that you could think of nothing else but boasting about them, their accomplishments, the person that they are versus who you are, what you've done, or accomplished?

Have you loved someone to the point that you could never imagine yourself saying or doing anything to dishonor them?

Have you ever felt that you could give every last dime, every ounce of energy, and everything you are for the sake of a loved one's happiness?

Have you ever loved someone so much that they could say "I hate you" and you could respond, "I must have done something right because you feel safe enough to tell me that?"

Have you loved so much that you tuck any wrong doing away so that you can love them that much more?

Have you rejoiced when truth prevails because you know it will protect the person you love?

Have you trusted someone you love to the point where you are willing to have your heart fractured or broken?

Have you hoped,  in spite of any negative that crops into the recesses of your mind, for the very best outcome for someone you loved?

Have you loved willingly with eagerness even when every last ounce of energy is drained?

I think moms can do that; at least those who trust in the Lord because He did it for them first.

What memories are made of ~

Special moments with my girls today.  Funny that the most precious moments can occur when you're doing nothing at all and sometimes when things don't seem quit so perfect.  The times that force you to look at everything precious that you have, are sometimes the most memorable.

We had all these plans starting out early in the morning and ended up home all day; but that was ok. My daughter, Maile came over today and put Jaimie through a photo shoot especially designed for her husband.  Cute as ever.  I sat with my other daughter and scratched legs, arms, head, and just kept her company.  At one point we all huddled together on the couch.  No one really wanted to do anything but cuddle, keep warm, and feel each others company in the silence.

I think that our family did what needed to be done; we comforted one another emotionally today.  I remembered the story of King David in the bible, who although he was known as "a man after God's heart," was not a good father.  When his daughter was raped by his son, he did nothing. David pulled back, became passive, buried his feelings, avoided facing the issue in a number of ways.  "Yet change does not occur without action, without doing what needs to be done to bring about change." Charles Swindoll ~  That's what our family did, we took action just knowing that comfort was the medicine for today...and that's all we had to know and all we had to do.

Tomorrow I look forward to the gym and church.   Somehow, I think something special will happen :)

Random Perceptions

Special Moments with Children, even adult children, never end ~

As I read through everyone's posting about their babies, I see pics of little ones doing cute things or with someone, I remember when mine were that small.  Although I cherish those moments, I cherish the moments I have with them today.  I still marvel at the things they say and do.  I still laugh and well up with wonderful feelings when I see them, hear them, and listen to them. 

Yesterday when I came home, Mandy was dressed so cute and she was dancing Salsa.  She got Jaimie to join her and they danced and laughed and I was just so happy to be with them.  In some ways it's a little more difficult because when they were small I had more control to protect them.  As adults, my internal reactions are still the same, to protect them.  Yet I know I can't be a "helicopter mom," hovering over my adult children.  With my oldest, Maile, and my next one, Jaimie, I feel a peace that comes from the fact that they are being protected by good men.  What mattered most to Jaimie, and for that fact for Amanda, was the spiritual man she saw in her husband.  That is their first attraction and with that comes a sense of comfort for me. Nonetheless, the worry of what the "world" can bring into their lives sometimes looms over me and I have to pray or do this, write, or go back to the precious memories I have, like yesterdays.

Tolerance ~

Sean Covey in his book “Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens” called the highest level of diversity appreciation, not a “Tolerator’s Profile” but a “Celebrator’s Profile.”  He says that these people realize that celebrating differences doesn’t mean that you necessarily agree with those differences, only that you value...  Yet those who preach tolerance seem to get flaming mad if you have a contrary belief system, you support what they don’t support, or you exercise your freedom to vote the way you want to.  My question is, how can they advocate tolerance when they want to force you to conform to their beliefs, vote as they vote, support what they support… or… you will be called intolerant and many expletive words will be hurled at you and about you?

Paraphrasing one of my favorite books

Joshua Harris - I Kissed Dating Goodbye

If we truly trust in Christ we die to our old way of living.  We no longer live for ourselves but for God and the good of others.  Relationships can no longer be about "having a good time" or "learning what I want in a relationship." Relationships are not about getting but giving; they are an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. 

Relationships are about laying down our desires to do what's right for the other persons best interest; to care for them even when there's nothing in it for us; to protect their purity and holiness because it pleases God and we want to protect them.

Feelings come and go, our own gratification and the "fun"  we have, how we "feel" can be deceptive.  We can end up in short term relationships that leave us discouraged, confused, and desperate for an alternative.  Although we can and should grow in knowledge, romance/intimacy must be linked to commitment (1 Corth 13) / commitment based love; a gift from God :=D.

When you open a treasure chest and you see it filled with coal and one huge pure sparkling diamond, you may have a once in a lifetime opportunity.  Protect it.